The Street King(s) and I

Recently in my LJ, I've been bugging people about how angry I am that Street Kings 2: Motor City does not have a release date posted yet on Netflix. Severals may be asking yourselves, "What's the big deal with Street Kings? I barely remember that movie. Didn't it star The Game?"

I get you. Me too. I barely remember it either, but it hasn't stopped me from putting a sepia filter on The Way We Were when Street Kings was first rolling out trailers back in Ought Seven. A time of anticipation, a time of crapola, a time of loving Keanu.

Here are things I remember about learning about and preparing for the original Street Kings back in 2008:

**It initially started with the delight and anticipation I feel any time Keanu Reeves is going to play "against type." I've never really been sure what I think his "type" is, but I know what it is not, and that is "British" or "drunk cop." He's tried it a few times and it never seems to pan out the way he wants it to. No one works more at acting (at least according to the interview I read with Shia LeBeouf back when he was still a sprightly up-and-comer and was costarring in Constantine with Keanu) and he tries so hard. So, so hard. He wants to be the guy who brings drunk cops and Shakespearean villains to life, but he is far, far better at pretending to love Sandra Bullock or being an alien, a male prostitute, and/or a robot.

(That's a rom com I'd see: Sandra Bullock as a divorced career gal, and Keanu Reeves as the android she buys for household chores. She learns to love life; he learns to love. There'd be a scene where he is walking her dog. Probably a song by Kelly Clarkson somewhere. Them cooking together.

This is just what Hollywood experts called a "treatment" (probably).)

Anyway: yay for Keanu trying and failing.

**The next thing I remember is that the cast list of Street Kings was the most random assortment of people ever. It was like someone put the contents of IMDb in a Bingo tumbler and cast whoever was extracted. Forest Whitaker! Dr. House! Keanu, of course! Jay Mohr! Chris in the Morning! Some rappers*!

*I very specifically remember delighting in the way the narrator in the ads intoned "AND THE GAME."

**Because I own Narc and The Negotiator, it's not like I can pretend I don't like middling-to-good movies full of character actors about cops and corruption and conspiracies and whatnot. And Street Kings definitely promised to have all those things. Maybe not the "-to-good" part of "middling-to-good," but enough of the other stuff that I'd start out watching it to make fun of it and would grow to love it (kind of like Sandra Bullock and her android Keanu Rosie the Maid Robot).

**As with most things I get excited about mocking, I shared it with one or two friends, which turned into a barrage of hilarious e-mails, and we eventually built actual plans around seeing Street Kings, thus making it a social event.


FAST FORWARD TO TODAY:
I don't actually remember a lot about the movie Street Kings. I remember that Hugh Laurie was IA, so he was sort of the red herring "that guy's a dick, but he won't turn out to be the main bad guy" guy. The rappers seemed to acquit themselves fine. Forest Whitaker, master of subtlety, sprayed spittle on every available surface as the Pragmatically Assholish Mentor Figure or Maybe Partner (and guess who turns out to be the puppet master of the conspiracy, at least to my recollection, which is cloudy). Jay Mohr and Chris in the Morning were...there. Doing stuff. Probably cracking wise and spinning songs by Hothouse Flowers.

So imagine my delight when star of Narc and costar of my very favorite show of the moment, Southland, are going to star in the direct-to-video sequel of this movie I got all ratcheted up about and about which I barely remember anything! SO excited! Let the countdown to Street Kings 2: Motor City begin!

Special bonus: blahmanda dug up the theme song I wrote on behalf of some of the characters:
♫ STREET KINGS
BEIN' CORRUPT AND KILLIN' LOTS OF PEOPLE
STREET KINGS
GRITTY AND THIEVIN'
WALL FULL OF MONEY
STARRING COMMON AND THE GAME ♫